Anyway, after spending a good chunk of our afternoon staring at each other and watching Bones reruns on Netflix, mom and I decided to head down to Wailea to take in some Hawaiian music at the Shops. The concert started at 6:30pm, so we left the condo around 5. We didn't want to hit any bad Maui rush hour (haha). Dad stayed at home to read his Kindle...typical.
15 minutes later we arrived at the Shops (must have missed the "rush hour") and stopped by the ABC store to stock up on some quick sustenance. We then took a seat at the place where the music was going to be and sat back to do some people watching. There wasn't that much to look at. Just the few annoying kids and some old people wearing inappropriate attire. There was even an old white lady wearing a mu-mu with a flower in her hair and one of those rat tails that only 3-year-old boys have.
We waited and waited and waited, and the singers still hadn't really shown up. Finally, someone resembling a singer showed up to start setting stuff up. This was at 6:15. The singer looked like a white guy that maybe had been on the island for a while. Mom said he looked like Ed Grimley from Saturday Night Live. As he was setting up his table, "Ed" pulled out an enlarged photo of his CD cover. Apparently his name was Leokani Pryor. A white guy named "Leokani?" His real name from probably Leonard. To make things more awkward, every time Leo bent over, his ass crack would decide to say hello. Way too much for me.
The most amusing part of our waiting around was the annoying woman sitting in front of us. She came over earlier to meet up with her other old people friends and at one point said that she was from Bothell. Ugh (sorry to people from Bothell). Anyway, a little bit before the concert she turned to her daughter, who was sitting next to us, and said that Fleetwood Mac had some paintings showing at the gallery upstairs and that after the concert she was going to meet him. The daughter was a little puzzled and said she was pretty sure Fleetwood Mac was the name of the band, not a person. But, oh wait!, the mom maintained the band was named for the guy, Fleetwood Mac. The daughter then pulled out her iPhone to prove that there was no man named Fleetwood Mac. Instead, the band Fleetwood Mac consisted of Mick Fleetwood (Fleetwood), Lindsey Buckingham, Stevie Nicks, and John McVie (Mac). The mom looked like a total dumb ass. While this exchange was happening, mom and I tried to do all we could to keep from laughing out loud. I even started to chime in with some Fleetwood songs. Apparently I do a good Stevie Nicks (and I saaaaaaaaw my reflection in a snoooooooow-covered hiiiiiiiills).
Finally, 25 m
inutes and three mic checks later (meanwhile we were being eaten alive by mosquitoes), Leo and his partner were finally ready to sing. Leo's singing partner definitely looked Hawaiian. In fact, he looked a lot like someone from the Tuiasosopo clan...and knowing how big their family is, he probably is a Tui. The two sang some songs from their hometown of Hana (and they kept reminding us that they were from Hana before every song...it got old).F
or some of their songs, there were accompanied by a male hula dancer named Opaka (although...he looked way too much like a "Gary" to me. Who names their kids Opaka?). He also freaked me out because of the look in his eyes and the way he moved his hips. Male hips should not move like that.After some Hana songs, the dynamic duo of Leo and Tui decided to get with the season and sing us a Christmas song. The settled on "White Christmas." I didn't find their rendition very convincing, since I don't think they have a lot of white Christmases in Hana. After a couple more songs, mom and I decided to get the hell out of there. Too many mosquitoes. But it was an interesting night.
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